The importance of my hair being laid on a scale from 1-10, is a solid 12. I have spent thousands of dollars on my hair and to be quite honest, I don’t regret it. Hair is important. It is a direct reflection of who we are as women and how we feel at the moment. When we are having a good hair day we feel more confident.

As a matter of fact, when I’m having a good hair day I feel untouchable. Those are the days that I really feel like “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” I have had every hairstyle under the sun from a pixie, to a wig, to dreadlocks, to long box braids and I even had a small identity crisis moment when I went platinum blonde. The blonde thing was weird, Yikes!

My hair has gone through a million and one transitions but I recently started to notice a pattern. I noticed that whenever I was fresh off a terrible breakup, I would cut my hair almost bald but when I was in deep, intense, crazy love my hair would fall down my back (with the help of a Brazilian, of course). I decided to dig deep and really ask myself why I deemed it necessary to cut off my tresses as soon as I was given the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk. After spinning around in my chair and journaling my thoughts in a nightgown like a black Carrie Bradshaw, I landed on this simple conclusion: I love starting over. I am the queen of “Lets, try this again” and my hair gives me the perfect opportunity to do it over and over and over again.

Chopping my hair off and wearing a sassy wig, clip-ins or braids makes me feel a sense of control while also giving me the thrill of being whoever I want to be that day, hour, moment or second. I know that India Arie beautifully coined the phrase I am not my hair but can I keep it one hundred? I am at least 25 percent hair, 50 percent talent, 15 percent dramatics and 10 percent side eye.

My most memorable moments are marked by whatever hairstyle I was rocking at the time. I think many women can relate to slicking their hair into a drawstring ponytail to go to the B2K concert or wearing a swoop bang with baggy jeans just hoping to give off Aaliyah vibes and don’t forget that time you thought an asymmetrical bob was a good idea. Our hair tells a story that seems to supersede any words that our wild thoughts tend to come up with. Presently, my hair screams yet another bad break up with a side of triumph and confidence. I wouldn’t trade my scissor happy ways for all the gold in the world.

So, I encourage every woman to change your hair as many times as you please. Chop it off, grow it out, add some pieces, go red, go purple, even go blonde if you dare but never forget that real beauty begins from within also, it is okay if you are your hair- just a little. Sorry India. Hair is important!